Why does Jesus tell followers to lessen esteem for their parents? In today’s Gospel he says, “If anyone comes to me without hating father and mother…they cannot be my disciple.” Jesus is undoing the esteem given for worldly position. Unfortunately, Paul, in the second reading reasserts such esteem and thus reasserts its patriarchy and slavery. Patriarchy is fatherly possessiveness over a lesser, for example a child or a slave, while believing one is acting for their good. Paul is patriarchal “on behalf of my child Onesimus, whose father I have become.” And as father, Paul is deciding for Onesimus, who is a slave – to return him to his wealthy slave owner, Philemon. But Paul does not decide for the slave owner, Philemon, “I did not want to do anything without your consent.” Paul holds Philemon in the position of worldly esteem Jesus warns against in the Gospel. Paul goes so far as to esteem the wealthy slave owner as a Christian, “a fellow worker.” But patriarchs and slave owners do not make for Jesus’ disciples, “anyone of you who does not renounce all his possessions cannot be my disciple.”
In renouncing patriarchal slaveholders and their esteem, we need not renounce all elders nor their esteem. Wise elders do not extend esteem for position but quite the opposite, for its lack – to the vulnerable, such as children and slaves. Wise esteem loves a person who is vulnerable into their fullness of life. It is nothing we can do part time or half-way. Such love requires courage. To persist with it over the years requires even more. As the elderly Bette Davis once quipped, “Old age ain’t no place for sissies.” Old age is for courage; to love and to keep loving without regard for worldly esteem, to love the most vulnerable – black, brown, gay, migrant, disabled. We each radiate God-given dignity; divinely unique, marvelous, and beautiful. Wise elders know the beauty of lowliness, the joy of struggle, and the mystery of frailty. They know of physical injuries that can cripple us, of emotional pain that can diminish us, and of spiritual yearnings that can perplex us. They know such hardships are a part of who they are. They know such hardships are a part of who we are. Wise elders will not avert from hardship. Nor will they take hardship away from us, in either a patriarchal or possessive manner. They will love us through it all. They will open their bodies, their hearts, and their souls to show us their scars. In doing so they will show us resilience.
“They say beauty comes from a spirit that has weathered many hardships in life and somehow continues with resilience. Grace can be found in a soul who ages softly, even amid the tempest. I think the loveliest by far is the one whose gentle heart bears a hundred scars from caring, yet still finds a way to pick up the lamp, one more time, to light the way for love.” (Light The Way For Love – Susan Frybort)
Prayer: Spirit of Love, we hold the least of us with the greatest esteem.
Question: Where do I need to pick up the lamp, one more time, to light the way for love?
September 08, 2019 Gospel Luke 14:25-33 Twenty Third Sunday in Ordinary Time