Fathers and Sons

Jesus said to his disciples: “I have much more to tell you, but you cannot bear it now. But when he comes, the Spirit of truth, he will guide you to all truth.

What are the hopes and dreams of every father for his son? Perhaps it is that he too should know the joy of fatherhood. Everything of importance revolves around relationships. It is part of the message of the Trinity, today’s feast. We are all of one family, related. We are born, live, and die in the emotional lives we share as relations to one another. Boys must know the tender relations of a father. As the boy is held in his father’s arms, he must feel the man’s  enduring tenderness, ‘I love you.’ Men must know the love of a father. As the boy grows to a man and holds his father in his own arms, he hears and speaks the same words, ‘I love you.’ They are the truth in which we can be guided in this world – by someone who is compassionate, strong, in touch, present, gentle, wise. Who are the fathers guiding us in this way of love? Looking at the men in public spaces, we can see too many are boys never held, men never loved. They are not fathers. They are not in relation. They celebrate no joy. They threaten us with “warrior lethality,” with being shot and killed “graveyard dead, in fact we will kill you and your spouse if you are Democratic politicians, and they will spends millions on parades to celebrate the birthday of armies but not the birthday of loving relations between fathers and sons.

“Father hunger – it’s driving so many things in our culture… the younger male’s need to please the big daddy and get his pat on the back or his promotion. I’ve had men older than me weep with me, still wanting a daddy, because they never had a father figure. It’s heartbreaking, really… I don’t think you develop an inner world. Do you understand? It’s just the whole life is externalized, and the soul is not born. And that’s why, again, suffering for so many becomes the only path because it’s the only thing strong enough to lead you into the world of grief, for example, or sadness or pain. And those tend to be the holes in the soul that awaken the inner world… And so an important part of every initiation rite was grief work, letting men get in touch with their unfinished hurt and begin to talk about it with other men. That’s when the floodgates opened, and all of this success that they shined with externally they finally could admit was all a charade. Everything changed after that… I have found in the men’s work that a lot of men are afraid to expose this… – vulnerability is such a scary thing for a man.” (Father Richard Rohr)

Prayer: Spirit, guide us in truth and in love.

Question: Who are the men in my life who need me to express, ‘I love you.’

June 15, 2025      Gospel John 16:12-15   Feast of the Trinity